Birthday Dirge (Happy Birthday?)

Direct download of MP3 file: birthdaydirge.mp3

Lyrics

Sung to the tune (well a variation) of "The Song of the Volga Boatmen"

Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

So you've aged another year
Your demise is drawing near
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

The zillion candles on your cake
A roaring bonfire they do make
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

You love your children, yes you do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

My brother Kendall and I sang this one morning as a "Happy Birthday" song for our sister Katie—and it was fun doing it! We sat down in the living room and recorded this using my Mac Book's built-in speaker in one take, using Audacity (no effects or edits, just some amplification).

The lyrics Kendall and I used were gleaned from the bazillion verses found on the Internet. I wrote the candle verse (zillion candles/bonfire) as I was unsatisfied with any I found on the 'net.

I'm pleased with how delightfully hideous it turned out to be!

--Aaron Gifford, 7 Sep. 2009

P.S. Since then, I've shared this many times as my birthday wish on Facebook to friends and relatives. If you got her via a Facebook link and it's your birthday, then have a very happy birthday despite this song. *grin*